March 6, 2018
Do you remember how the Peanuts cartoon character, Snoopy the beagle, sits on top of his dog house wearing his aviator gear, scarf caught up by the wind, typing fiercely on his typewriter, “It was a dark and stormy night.”? So it seems to me, here, as I sit in front of my iMac and begin to put down some thoughts. Of course, a dark and stormy night is never the full picture—both Snoopy and I dramatize.
January and February have been months for turning inward and for being aware of the ebb and flow of life and death. We are always within the ebb and flow of life and death; it is our place to deeply engage with and know the completeness of this.
On January 3rd our sangha friend, Marilyn Kratt, died at the age of 93. Marilyn would tell stories about going to the first priory building in Oakland, CA—right by the freeway overpass—for meditation and talks with Rev. Master Jiyu. She also spoke about her first trip to the newly-purchased property in Mt. Shasta, now Shasta Abbey. Eager for some kind of wisdom to show her a way out of her suffering, Marilyn—as many of us—was hampered by her opinions, her demands of herself and others, and by her complaining mind. Aware of this, Marilyn did her best to use these obstacles as spurs to encourage her in her thirst for the truth.
Watching Marilyn gradually “fade away” in the last few years of her life, and seeing her become more and more content as memories, old grudges and longings dropped away, was a teaching in the koan of life and death.
In Zen Is Eternal Life, RM Jiyu wrote of koans as “any problem in one’s training which one needs to face, penetrate, clarify and transcend. . . . Whether the koan appears as a simple problem—a seeming obstacle which needs to be sorted out—or as a fundamental question of life and death, it can only be understood through meditation.” What I have been observing in myself and others is that although the koan appears naturally in daily life, there are times we will do most anything to avoid it, fight it, or take a very wide berth around it. It takes faith to welcome “our” koan, to say yes to it. It is not a question of answering a koan, but rather of looking at what arises in us out of the koan.
To watch someone die slowly, to gradually ebb away, is a lesson in no-self. All those adjectives that I may have used to describe Marilyn, and she to describe herself, fell away. When I sat with Marilyn, the question arose for me, “Who is the Marilyn that is not time-bound?” or, more succinctly, “Where is Marilyn?” I cannot quite capture it, and perhaps we never can capture it: “Who, what is this being in front of me?” As Marilyn approached death, it seemed there wasn’t a being at all, only essence. Put in other words, as the individual died away, the universal, Buddha Nature shone through.
When Marilyn’s memories were all but erased, she remarked, “Now I have to live in the present, because that’s all I have.” And what I witnessed was Marilyn becoming lighter and lighter. The present was enough—clear and unblemished by the past or future. The grievances? No longer important; no longer there at all. What remains? Freedom, gratitude.
On February 26 our dear priory cat, Raja, died of kidney disease. Raja was our temple cat for 17 plus years. He was much beloved by the congregation and by myself and had a most engaging way of teaching us how to meet his slightest request. He was a very vocal cat (at times annoyingly so) and had particular sounds to indicate particular things—mainly desires, excitement, or objections of some sort. His excitement cry was my favorite—sort of like the high-pitched squeal of a 2-year-old. He was truly a good and gentle companion and, in his later years, a primo lap cat.
A congregation member asked about the phrase in the animal funeral, “Discard this karmic body quickly and enter the world of purity.” He wanted to know how that jived with “cats there are some kinds…that perfect are just as they are” in the Most Excellent Mirror–Samadhi. It seems to me there is no contradiction here: leave this karmic body quickly and perfect as they are. So, too, for each of us, as for all beings.
And, Finally. I will be at Throssel Hole Buddhist Abbey in Northern England from March 20 until April 20. While I am away, there will be no scheduled morning meditation periods. All other calendar events will continue with the help of congregation members. Please see the calendar on our website: eugenebuddhistpriory.org
Expanding Our Understanding
I am reading a new book by Mark Epstein, a Buddhist in the Insight Meditation tradition and psychiatrist practicing in Manhattan. Over the past 30 years, he has written five books about psychotherapy and Buddhism. The most well-known is Thoughts without a Thinker: Psychotherapy from a Buddhist Perspective. The book I am reading now is Advice Not Given: A Guide to Getting Over Yourself. Epstein calls it Advice Not Given because for many years he has refrained from explicitly “mixing” therapy and Buddhism. What is his “Guide to Getting Over Yourself?” It is the Eightfold Path, and he writes about each one from both the perspective of Buddhist practice and of therapeutic healing. I may not understand the teaching in quite the same way that he does, yet found this pretty interesting. I particularly recommend it to those of you who are therapists.
Rev. Oriana, chief priest
Winter Newsletter 2017
Writing on a cold, frosty December day, I am aware that the ice storm that did so much damage to the priory property last year was on December 14th. It has taken almost a year for cleanup to be completed, and over 200 trees are still to be planted in January. Thank you, again, to all who have helped with the property this year through your financial donations and hard, physical work.
For some months, I have been considering changing the nature of our quarterly newsletter. Beginning in 2018 there will no longer be a newsletter per se, but rather a more informal, more frequent blog that doesn’t have the constraints of being “news.” What this means is that I may give you some news or underline upcoming events; I could also send out some thoughts on Buddhist practice, or a discussion of something I have read, viewed or listened to on various media. My idea is that the blog will be informal, short, and wide-ranging in content. The first such blog will be sent out some time in February. This will be our format for 2018 and I will watch where it leads and if it seems useful as an aid to our practice. Any feedback from you will be much appreciated.
In this issue the thoughts I share with you are on the phrase “the mind of poverty.” A potent phrase for the idea of impoverishment—what I have is not enough—and how a gratitude that is not dependent on externals moves us beyond “enough” or “not enough.”
My best wishes for a quiet and healing winter season.
In gassho, Rev. Oriana, chief priest
The fall and winter months are a time of ceremony and festivals. We have celebrated Segaki (Feeding of the Hungry Ghosts) on Oct. 22nd, and on December 10th had our Enlightenment Day festival and potluck. These festival days underline the continuity of our lives as Buddhists and mark our practice and commitment through the years. They also nurture the history and life of the Sangha.
We had a lovely, autumn day for our November Founder’s Memorial for Rev. Master Jiyu Kennett. Because the weather invited us out, we began the memorial in the meditation hall and then moved to the priory’s stupa for a recitation of “Adoration of the Buddha’s Relics,” as we circumambulated the stupa commemorating Rev. Master Jiyu. In November we also had a Sunday Remembrance Day for all who have died “throughout all time and space” as the result of war or terrorism.
It was lovely to get a visit from Rev. Master Leandra Robertshaw, vice-abbot at Throssel, in mid-August. She was on her way to visit Shasta Abbey, have some renewal time and attend the 2017 Order Conclave. We had a relaxed time walking various parts of Eugene and sharing our days together. Later in August we had a visit from Rev. Master Seikai Luebke of Pine Mountain Buddhist Temple in Southern California. He was visiting family who live in Eugene and also made time to join us on a Sunday morning for a Dharma talk and tea. Many of the priory congregation have known Rev. Seikai for some years. Finally, Rev. Wilfrid Powell, Rev. Jishin Kinson, and Rev. Elinore Agnew stopped in Eugene for three days on their way from Throssel Hole to Shasta Abbey to attend the Order Conclave. It was lovely to have their company at the priory and to introduce them to the congregation and to our temple.
2017 Order of Buddhist Contemplatives Conclave
The latter two weeks of September I attended the Order Conclave, along with more than 30 other monks of the Order from our temples in North America and Europe. These conclaves are held every 5 years to look at existing rules and procedures of the Order and to put in place operating rules that may not yet have been ratified by the community. This can be seen as an exercise in tedium, but I came away aware of the value of looking communally at our lives as monks of the Order and coming together to draw a picture of our common understanding of what that life entails. For myself, I went from being impatient with all the “procedure” to a sense of common ground and support among temples of the Order. I also gained an appreciation of the value of consensus decision-making, where the group is required to look for acceptable resolutions that can be supported by each participant even though they might not choose to “vote for” that resolution. Rather than putting things to a vote, participants seek to reach general agreement. What this means is that we must talk to each other—seems that this can only be to the good.
I recently came across the phrase “the mind of poverty” and was struck by its power. It is the mind that is impoverished. We are not speaking about material poverty, but rather emotional and spiritual poverty. The sense that we can have of lacking something, of somehow being shut out, or of being unable to give or receive love. Along with this sense, there is frequently a wish to be anywhere other than where we are, an idea that if we could just get a hold of our life, if we could be “over there” rather than “here,” we could be content, full rather than impoverished. This desire to be somewhere other than where we are is often the root of our suffering and augments our inability to be right here, to do what is in front of us with a degree of integrity and grace.
One of Webster’s definitions of “integrity” is “the quality or state of being complete or undivided.” Undivided. The mind of poverty seems to be based on division: me and them; having and not having; what I have and what I want; or what I have and what I believe I deserve. Many of us attempt to feel better by telling ourselves that at least we are fed and clothed, or at least we have our mental capacities, or at least we are not as bad off as our good friend who has cancer or our neighbor who lost their job. Comfort by comparison. Superficially, this way of thinking may comfort us in the short run, yet in the end it only reinforces our division. We want to be on the “good side” of this division, the “comfortable side.” We still haven’t addressed the cause of the mind of poverty—that is, our inability or unwillingness to accept the natural ebb and flow and impermanence of any state in which we find ourselves. Instead, we scramble to stay on the “right side” of the line, the side that offers ease and pleasure and a happy ending. When we fall onto the “wrong side” of the line—even by the circumstances of any given day—we may have a day (or a life) of complaining and despair.
It is gratitude that brings us back to the undivided. Not gratitude that arises from being on the comfortable side of the divide, but rather gratitude that arises from life itself. To be grateful for this or that, to count our blessings is a beginning, but such gratitude is dependent on things going the way we wish them to. There is a gratitude that is not based on anything external or temporal, on any accounting that balances out on the pleasure side. Such gratitude can always be withdrawn or diminished by the circumstances of our life. The gratitude that arises from the ground of being cannot be diminished. It just is. No this or that, just immensity. Just, yes.
I am recalling the poem “Thanks” by W.S. Merwin that I read to our congregation a few years ago. (See https://www.poets.org/poetsorg/poem/thanks for the complete poem). The poem was well-liked and, at the same time, there were objections. Of course you can be thankful for the night sky and the water, but “for wars and the police at the door, and the beatings on stairs”? There is a gratitude that hums along, not always recognized or heard, that is not dependent on does this make me feel good or not, or do I like this or not, or even is this just or not. It is beyond any duality and extends deeper than any mind of poverty in which we may mistakenly seek to find comfort.
Merwin’s poem ends:
“we are saying thank you faster and faster
with nobody listening we are saying thank you
thank you we are saying and waving
dark though it is”
Expanding Our Understanding
What recommends the items below is their reflection of spiritual practice. My wish is that they may contribute to expanding our world and our intention to live according to the Precepts.
Documentary: Chef’s Table, Season 3, Episode 1: Jeong Kwan (Netflix).
Zen Buddhist nun, Jeong Kwan, is chief cook at Baegyangsa Temple, South Korea. Her meals have left some of the world’s best chefs in awe. For Jeong Kwan, cooking is a central part of her spiritual practice and a powerful way of spreading the Dharma. The priory community watched this together on Thanksgiving weekend. Lovely teaching, gorgeous forest hermitage. (Thank you to Collette for the recommendation.)
Dharma Talks: Four talks on “intimacy” in the Soto Zen tradition from Rev. Master Daishin Morgan’s August sesshin at Throssel Hole Buddhist Abbey. Talk three on “Aloneness and Intimacy” is given by Rev. Berwyn Watson.
Essay: Joan Halifax, “Compassion in the Charnel Ground.”
A selection from Roshi Joan Halifax’s upcoming book in which she writes about practicing in the midst of suffering. Joan Halifax is Abbess of Upaya Zen Center, Santa Fe, New Mexico.
“We don’t have to go to Tibet or into a war zone to practice in a charnel ground. The charnel ground is a metaphor for any environment where suffering is present—a Japanese hospital, a school room, a violent home, a mental institution, a homeless shelter, a refugee camp. Even a space of privilege, like the corporate boardroom or Wall Street trading floor, can be a charnel ground. Really, any place that is tainted by fear, depression, anger, despair, disrespect, or deceit is a charnel ground—including our own mind.”
Summer Newsletter 2017
We are having a lovely summer in Eugene. I was hoping to see our resident fox from last summer, but she hasn’t been around. We do have a doe who gave birth on the side drive and she and her fawn come through most days, sometimes spending the afternoon lying in the shade on one of our few patches of grass.
I am introducing a new feature to our newsletter—“Expanding Our Understanding,” which you will find at the end of this issue. This new contribution may list books, movies, speeches, Dharma talks, newspaper articles, etc. that I have found helpful and encouraging in my practice. Sometimes I say a bit about the entry, sometimes the title alone is explanation enough. For most of the items listed, I have included a link. I will appreciate your response to this newsletter feature. Any suggestions for a better title for this feature?
The thoughts I share with you in this newsletter are on the question, “Aren’t I entitled to have an opinion?”–challenging question with a lot to mull over.
In gassho, Rev. Oriana, chief priest
Wesak. On April 30th we celebrated the Birth of the Buddha with our yearly Wesak ceremony and potluck meal. We take a photo each year of the community in front of the altar, as you see above.
Rev. Leon Kackman’s Induction Ceremony. The first Sunday in May, Rev. Vivian, who came up from Shasta Abbey, and I went to Portland Priory to take part in Rev. Leon’s formal induction as Prior. It was a lovely day with children and family present, and I had the opportunity to meet and visit with a handful of Rev. Leon’s family. It was also enjoyable to see congregation members that I know from my time at Portland Priory in spring of 2012.
Lay Ordination. On Sunday, July 9th, Mick Wahal was given lay ordination at the Priory. Mick has been a regular participant at the Priory for over 2 years and we are pleased to support his commitment to Buddhist practice. Ernie Rimerman acted as precentor and Nancy Fletcher as chaplain. Following the ceremony, there was a Dharma talk on what it means to undertake Zen practice and many of our long-time sangha offered their thoughts on Buddhism in daily life. It was a lovely day, and we all appreciated the opportunity to renew our vows to live as Buddhists, doing our best to refrain from harm and to show compassion to ourselves and others.
I was pleased to have a handful of monastic visitors from Shasta Abbey this spring. Rev. Master Meiko arrived on April 30th and stayed for 4 nights so that we could get in a good visit and a bit of rest time together. She passed through for the night on her way back to the Abbey a few weeks later. Rev. Vivian was here for the nights before and after Rev. Leon’s induction in early May which gave us the opportunity to “walk and talk.”
Rev. Master Haryo visited on May 11th for 4 nights. Conversation and relaxed time together were much appreciated, as well as all the “maintenance work” Rev. Haryo accomplished while he was here. He pretty much worked through the Priory’s “A list” and much of our “B list,” as well as repairing various additional things he noted while he was here that hadn’t yet made it to any list! Particularly helpful was his look at our phone system and setting up the Priory’s voice mail, and the troubleshooting he did on our outside lighting.
Laura Dowsing English and her husband, Tygh, are moving to Kauai, Hawaii this July. They were both feeling a need for a change in their work and environment; Laura has a job in Kauai working with special needs children and Tygh is ready for a possible change in his profession. Laura was given lay ordination by Rev. Master Oswin Hollenbeck in 2012, and I performed their marriage ceremony two summers ago. We wish them both a peaceful and rewarding transition to their life in Hawaii.
Marilyn Kratt, a long-time lay Buddhist and active in Shasta Abbey retreats for decades, is now residing at Sheldon Park in Eugene. At 92 years of age, Marilyn was weakened by a fall in May and the following surgery, and requires the care of an assisted living facility. She has been a valued congregation member at the Priory for 5 years and will appreciate the thoughts and support of the sangha at this challenging time in her life.
The Priory community would like to thank the following sangha members who have offered work and services to the Priory:
- Martha Welches for taking on our sacristy cleaning. She has been keeping the meditation hall altars clean and the candle and water offerings fresh.
- Colette Hestbeck continues to come by one Wednesday morning each month to do whatever work is helpful at the time. She has pruned trees, transplanted in the garden, cleaned bathrooms, and various other tasks that contribute to the life of the Priory.
- Mick Wahal is here again this spring and summer regularly offering his services on Wednesday mornings. He has kept the stupa and surrounding area clean, used a power washer on buildings, walkways, and statues, done “weed wacking” numerous times and experimented with burning weeds along walks with a propane torch (pretty successful).
- Talbot Bielefeldt, who spent a morning giving the carpet in our common room a thorough clean—much needed with our old cat, Raja, in residence.
In June, the Priory received the donation of a Buddha statue from Laura and Tygh English. The statue had belonged to Laura’s mother, who introduced her to Buddhism and to the Priory. They also donated a wooden, outdoor bench and another lovely wooden bench made by Tygh, and numerous household and food items.
Thank you Martha, Colette, Mick, Talbot, Laura, and Tygh for the contributions you make to our community.
“Aren’t I entitled to have an opinion?”
A few weeks ago, I was questioning something a relative said to me and she responded, “Aren’t I entitled to have an opinion?” Being raised in my family—opinions are how we relate to one another (the one who states their opinion the loudest and most consistently “wins”)—and being American—the land of “free speech”—my initial response was, “of course.” Doesn’t freedom mean I can express myself in any way I please and you can’t stop me, thank you very much? Okay, but something in me was uncomfortable with that and I carried the question, “Aren’t I entitled to have an opinion?” around for several weeks. And what came up for me was, “No, actually, you are not entitled to have an opinion.” What a surprise!
Part of the issue for me is the word entitled. It is our right to go around having opinions all over the place without any information, understanding, curiosity? Without any consideration of the effect our opinions might have on others, basically wrecking havoc and causing division, taking sides with our opinions. Why so? Because our opinions are who we are? For myself, and I believe for most of us, our opinions are frequently just a spewing out of habitual and conditioned responses without much thought, without listening, and without looking at the particular situation or person in front of us right now. And we are entitled to do this?
Things are not helped in this regard with the internet’s culture of review and comment, encouraging us to have something to say about everything. And we lap it up, and (frequently) out of ignorance and delusion suddenly we are authorities. Why do we believe that what we have to say is so important, or that it will be helpful in any way? For my part, I desist. Well, once I did break my resolve and commented on how absolutely fantastic a mushroom-chard enchilada recipe is on one of my favorite vegetarian blogs. Not much harm done there. But, it does give me that addictive feeling of my opinion matters, the world cares what I think, and the belief that I have something to say. And, yes, it can be addictive.
As part of my Buddhist practice I encourage myself to have fewer opinions, not to take them too seriously, and to understand that they are only opinions, not “truth.” When I look at my life, and some of the opinions—most likely born of ignorance—I have expressed with great conviction and certainty, I am deeply embarrassed. Am I the only one? I see insecurity, fear, stubbornness, delusion. I don’t see a fountain of knowledge and wisdom. Let’s look at this squarely: opinions are just as likely (I want to say more likely) to be a prison that holds us in than an expression of liberation or freedom.
Okay, we are human beings with thinking minds, we are going to have opinions. What do we do with all these “if I ran the zoo” opinions?
One, let’s hold our opinions lightly, not taking them so seriously as if our very life depends upon them, and upon others’ agreement with them. Opinions can be the beginning of a much-needed and helpful dialogue, if we are able to drop our belief that our opinions are truth, and if we can listen.
Two, let’s acknowledge that we do not run the zoo and that we can save a lot of energy and grief by just dropping our opinions. We don’t need to make everyone/everything be the way we want them to be—in fact, we can’t.
Three, when we have an opinion, do we need to express it? Let’s look at the Buddha’s five questions to ask before we speak: “Do I speak at the right time? Do I speak the truth? Do I speak gently? Do I speak helpful words? Do I speak with a kind heart?” This will shut a lot of us up a lot of the time. I assure you, you will not die if you keep your mouth shut. I know, sometimes it feels like it.
Four, when we have an opinion—particularly a strong, ingrained, habitual opinion—does it hold up to the Precepts? By this I mean, is the opinion itself harmful? Does it flow from compassion or from the desire to be right? Is it born from ignorance, fear, desire? If it comes from the “I want what I want when I want it” perspective (some people call that freedom) then the potential for harm is great. Does it adhere to right thought, right speech, right action? We might also ask ourselves, “Is this an informed opinion or am I just spouting off?”
Yes, you can come back to me with, “Well, everything you say here is opinion.” True, and I can be fairly insistent about it. (When I become aware of my tendency to insist, I do my best to step back.) I trust that there is teaching here for your life. It is not my teaching; it is Buddhist practice, arising from a wish to live by the Precepts. Look at your own life. Try it for yourself.
I don’t wish to get too carried away here so let me bring this to an end with a reality check. Every day we make choices, decisions, discriminate between this and that, and this is an integral and essential part of our lives. It is so automatic that generally we aren’t even aware that we are making choices. Let’s base these choices and decisions on an understanding of the Precepts, on what it is good to do, on an ability to look at the big picture. We don’t need to base our choices on fly-by-night opinions that arise from our karmic tendencies or from our ingrained, habitual responses that do more to confine us than to free us. Let’s be aware of our opinions and the consequences—to us and to others—of our opinions. In particular, let’s ask, “Do they cause harm? Are they helpful?” That’s all. Lightly, lightly, lightly.
Expanding Our Understanding
As I am enthused about this new feature in the Priory’s newsletter, I am including quite a bit this first time. What recommends the items below is that they teach us about spiritual practice in the world. They also elicited a “Wow, that’s beautiful,” or “Here’s something to think about,” or “What a wonderful way to express this teaching” or “I hadn’t quite looked at it this way before,” from me. I hope that they will also contribute to expanding your world and your daily practice. The recommendations I include here reflect my particular slant on things; please don’t assume that they represent the Order of Buddhist Contemplatives.
Movie: “Taking Chance” with Kevin Bacon (available on Amazon Prime). This movie shows the formal steps taken by the American military to bring the bodies of those who have died in war back to their families. This was a real education for me. Guiding a body home takes the support of many beings and reflects humility, generosity, and service.
Documentary: “White Helmets” (available on Netflix). Best short documentary at 2017 Academy Awards. The White Helmets is a non-partisan, humanitarian organization of “first responders” in the ongoing war in Syria who are dedicated to saving as many lives as possible after bombings. What is a bodhisattva? Watch this for clear and moving examples from people who are asking, “What is it good to do?”
Three Dharma Talks from Throssel Hole Buddhist Abbey and Shasta Abbey
“Great Master Dogen and Buddha Nature,” Rev. Master Daishin Morgan
“Intuition,” Rev. Master Leandra Robertshaw
“Internal Disarmament,” Rev. Margaret Clyde
Pope Francis, “Why the Only Future Worth Building Includes Everyone.”
“What Makes a Good Life?” Robert Waldinger discusses a 75-year-study at Harvard Medical School. Waldinger is the current researcher of 4 generations of scientists to guide this study. He is also a Zen Buddhist. What makes a good life? In a nutshell: connection, cooperation, compassion.
From The New York Times
Mitch Landrieu’s Speech on the Removal of Confederate Monuments in New Orleans.
An excellent example of right speech, right action and skillful means from the mayor of New Orleans. What is impressive here is that Landrieu excludes no one, showing empathy and understanding for all viewpoints. I highly recommend reading or watching the full address (link within article).
Winter Newsletter 2017
On December 12th we celebrated the Buddha’s Enlightenment at our Enlightenment Day Festival. Earlier in the week we sang invocations and did recitations as an offering to Shakyamuni Buddha and to show gratitude for His teaching. The festival was followed with a potluck meal and lively discussion.
On New Year’s Eve we celebrated with a traditional Buddhist ceremony and a social tea to see in the New Year. There was a drop-in open house on New Year’s Day in the afternoon to offer congregation members the opportunity to do bows in our meditation hall—a traditional practice in the Buddhist world—and to share an informal tea.
The priory closed on January 2nd for three weeks in order to give me a period of rest and reflection at the beginning of the year.
In mid-January, Rev. Leon, prior at Portland Buddhist Priory, and Rev. Allard of Shasta Abbey stopped by on their way down to Shasta. It was enjoyable to see them both, and we engaged in a lively discussion about what we as priests can offer and how to take part in bridging the widening political divide in the United States.
The Priory Grounds
I had imagined that there would be no entry on the Priory grounds in this newsletter, as my intention was to take a break from my focus on the property and to spend more quiet time inside this winter. Instead, we had a severe ice storm on December 16th—expectation trips me up again—that did significant damage to our grounds with the loss of uncountable trees. Except for minor damage to several structures, the buildings were spared.
I decided not to begin cleanup until we reopened in late January so that I could have a retreat period. We are now in the throes of cleaning up the storm damage and, at the same time, looking at fire danger and other concerns. There was a section of property with a significant number of dead Douglas fir and with the storm damage on top of that, it became pretty much a tangle of ground cover (mostly poison oak and black berry bushes), fallen branches and dead trees. With the advice of a forester who walked through the Priory property with me, the decision was made to remove all the trees and dead plants from the area (pretty much “clear cut”) and to replant it in the fall with cedar and Ponderosa pine, as well as some native deciduous trees. It is rather a shock, and disheartening, to see the bare land and to imagine the animals who once lived there. Yet when I revisit the decision, I still end with “this needed doing.”
Service to the Eugene Community
At our last community meeting in 2016, we decided to explore making an offering of service to the Eugene community. This decision came partly from a wish to take part in a positive activity of support in light of the negativity and “name-calling” from both sides during the presidential election. A group of those interested met in early February and discussed in more detail possible directions for contributing to the community. The following three opportunities for service were highlighted:
- Food for Lane County, volunteering at their central office, in “The Dining Room” which serves meals at no charge, or working in the garden that provides fresh vegetables and fruits for their meals.
- Community Supported Shelters, offers temporary housing for up to 85 homeless people and aims to find training, employment and/or more permanent housing for residents. There are many different types of volunteer work—from office work to counseling to cleanup–through this organization.
- Ann’s Heart Women’s Shelter, a new transitional housing unit for homeless women jointly supported by Ebbert Memorial United Methodist Church and St. Vincent de Paul.
Various members of the sangha offered to gather further information on each of the above and the community service “team” will meet again in the near future.
If you have interest in working with the Priory on service to Eugene–or have an interest in remaining in the loop about our service–and your name is not yet on our email list, please let Talbot Bielefeldt at firstname.lastname@example.org know and he will add you to the list.
A Thank You
I wish to thank those who were of help to me during the storm and following 5 days without electricity or water, in particular: Nancy Fletcher who—even though her house had significant damage from fallen trees—came to check on me the day following the storm when she couldn’t get through by phone; Dixie Feiner who offered the use of her shower and bought me a warm lunch at a nearby restaurant; Ernie Rimerman who brought food and water to the priory; Wendy Schwall who left four, 5-gallon bright red (cheered me up immensely) buckets filled with water on our porch when I was out so that I could flush the toilet and also other helpful LED lights to be used when the electricity is out.
I would also like to thank Mick Wahal, who found the services of a logger and covered the cost; and to Ernie Rimerman, Myron Cook and Al LePage for their very generous financial donations in response to the expense of cleanup and other work on the grounds. My deep gratitude to you and to everyone who made offerings of help during this time.
Further donations toward the cleanup and care of our 4-plus acres will be received with gratitude.
A Bit More About “Welcome”
You may recall that in our last newsletter I talked about welcoming what comes to us each day. Finding openness in our hearts to our difficulties and empathy for the difficulties of others, are we able to say “this is what is here now” without complaint or judgment? Yes, we have preferences. Can we lay our preferences aside and do what needs to be done?
This has been on my mind the last few months because of the ice storm that occurred in Eugene in mid-December—on-the-ground training in “welcome.” Due to several drought years, trees competing for limited light and then an ice storm that put great strain and weight on trees and branches that were already growing “sideways,” we lost many, many trees in the storm. This requires a major cleanup—figuring out what needs doing and in what order, hiring people, looking at the financial side.
So the question I asked myself was, “Am I able to welcome this demand, coming in from left field, on my time and energy and on the priory’s finances?” Too, there is a grief at losing so many fine trees and the wild life they helped to support. This has been difficult for me to do. I will gain and then lose equilibrium, gain and lose perspective—I want to say, gain and lose control, but I never had control.
And yet, and yet, as I watch the process in me and am aware of how I respond as each thing comes up, I have learned that welcoming comes more easily in bits. Not can I welcome the whole mess, but how about what is happening today: can I welcome the insurance adjuster, the estimate for stump grinding, the various and often conflicting suggestions on how to proceed? So I am doing my best to welcome in bits—moment to moment—and some days I do better than others. And that’s okay. If I am feeling overwhelmed, I try to back up and take smaller bites (or bits).
I can put a great deal of effort into trying to make things happen now, when they just are not going to happen now. The sense of always pushing, chasing after and not accomplishing a lot—that is what wears me out. Can I drop all that? What is it good to do today, or even right now? Maybe it is good to make lots of arrangements, and maybe it is good to take a day off from the mess, step away.
What tires me, what is stressful is not trusting that everything is okay, and everything will be okay. Learning that “even when I’m not okay, I’m okay.” Yes, I can see that. There is something below the whole process that hums along, that is okay. Be quiet enough to recognize that place, act from that place.
A congregation member recently remarked that it is difficult enough to accept some things, particularly difficulties, let alone to actually welcome them. Yet what a load off if we can just open the door every day and say welcome, regardless of what is knocking. That can certainly lead to an end of suffering. At the same time, it doesn’t work to use welcome as an exercise or strategy because we think then life will be easier. (A begrudging, “Hey, I don’t like you, but welcome, since welcome will help to reduce the stress.”)
My teacher, Rev. Master Daishin Morgan, recently said to me that acceptance is much deeper than resignation or accommodation. This keeps floating through my mind. I can almost reach it. I tend to look at things in a practical way, acceptance as a way to “manage my life,” to convince myself that everything is fine. I understand this is not what is meant. A deep acceptance or welcome arises from a ground of sufficiency, a trust that we already have what we seek. It is not as if we need to “find” welcome; it is always with us, we are just asked to open the door.
So perhaps at this moment I cannot welcome, and I just want to stay in bed and listen to the rain and comfort myself. Good. See that desire and bow to it. I don’t need to follow. And perhaps tomorrow, bit-by-bit I can welcome with a lightness. Hello, what’s up today? Good. See that and be thankful for the teaching. I have learned more about suffering and the cessation of suffering by watching the consequences of being batted back and forth by circumstances like a ping pong ball. It’s the “mess” in our lives that teaches us, when we are ready to listen.
— In gassho, Rev. Oriana